Dear Ellie Sanders, My name is Maria and I am of Italian origin. I am a recently married 35-year old woman and enrolled in Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication. I strongly recommend this course. It has assisted me with some interpersonal communication difficulties that I am experiencing with my husband. Knowing the cultural differences in my marriage, this course has given me the tools to understand the value of effective interpersonal communication. These are the essential skills that can help me communicate more effectively.

Identifying barriers to effective interpersonal interactions as well as developing strategies for active, critical and empathic listening. It is important to know how to evaluate appropriate levels of self-disclosure in a relationship and learn to understand how perceptions, emotions, and nonverbal expression can affect interpersonal relationships.

Comprehending what is being said and understanding fully what somebody is trying to communicate is important. Therefore, it is important to be an effective listener and letting the person finish talking before you talk. Italians are generally quite open, inquisitive and bold. I am frequently eager to give my opinion or advice to my husband. I have a habit of pointing out errors and giving him advice on how to correct those errors. I sense that my husband feels that this can be judgmental. When this occurs, and my husband looks at his cell phone, this gives me the perception that he is closed off or overly sensitive.

Not having the appropriate interpersonal communication skills can lead to conflict but having a conflict is not the major issue. The main challenge is how the conflict will be handled. Solving the conflict using effective communication skills and understanding could lead to having a happier future and building a stronger relationship. Italians can grow uncomfortable with prolonged periods of silence and may naturally speak to fill in the silence.

The use the use of language and grammar can contribute to the type of communication that people in engage in everyday life. Words that are used when communicating with one another can have more meaning. Italians may speak in loud voices to make themselves heard over one another. A raised voice is not necessarily a sign of anger but can be an expression of excitement or conviction. Sometimes we talk over one another to be heard.

Not only do words that are spoken have meaning but body language and facial expressions can as well. When asking somebody to do something and they raise their eyebrow this can be interpreted as dislike of what is being asked. Italians are naturally more expressive in their tone of voice, facial expressions and body language, often motioning with their hands to emphasize our point. This can sometimes seem theatrical. We also use many gestures during communication.

Perceptions, emotions, and nonverbal expression can affect interpersonal relationships. It is understood that perception is the process of acquiring, interpreting, and organizing information that comes in through your senses. Becoming conscious of situations in your environment that might be dangerous or that require attention is essential to survival. Most people tend to think that they perceive the world as it really is; however, the truth is that they perceive only a small portion of what they encounter in the outside environment. Everything in the environment that has the potential to be perceived can be defined as a stimulus. These stimuli are sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.

Nonverbal communication is defined as communication of a message without words, which means that it encompasses a wide range of vocal and visual signs and behaviors. Throughout our life, we express thoughts and ideas not only through language but also through our voice, eyes, face, body posture and movement, and hand gestures. A stereotype often heard about Italians is that we talk with our hands. Non-verbal communication is popular for many reasons such as habit, emphasis and the ability at times to say more with gestures than you can with words. In many ways, gestures and body language become direct expressions of one’s personality and culture.

Understanding emotions and expressing these emotions appropriately is the key to successful communication with others. People who are aware of their emotions and are sensitive to the emotions of others are better able to handle the ups and downs of life, to rebound from adversity, and to maintain fulfilling relationships with others. Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that can be learned. We can improve our emotional intelligence by increasing our awareness of emotional issues and improving our ability to identify, assess, and manage our feelings. People skills involve a wide range of interpersonal skills including appropriate self-disclosure determining how much personal information to share with others, appropriate assertion skills presenting your ideas and opinions so that they are recognized, collaborative skills working well with others, problem solving skills, and conflict resolution skills.

Culture plays a fundamental role in communication. Nonverbal communication can be a cultural barrier as well as language, and often it may lead to misunderstanding, especially when people are not familiar with each other cultures and contexts. I feel that communicating effectively in any relationship especially in a new marriage takes time, practice and skill.

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