5.12 Message Composition: Selecting Powerful Words Write up-to-date, less-stuffy versions of these phrases; write none if you think there is no appropriate substitute: a. As per your instructions b. Attached herewith c. In lieu of d. In reply I wish to state e. Please be advised that 5.13 Message Composition: Creating Effective Sentences Suppose that end-of-term frustrations have produced this email message to Professor Anne Brewer from a student who believes he should have received a B in his accounting class. If this message were recast into three or four clear sentences, the teacher might be more receptive to the student's argument. Rewrite the message to show how you would improve it: I think that I was unfairly awarded a C in your accounting class this term, and I am asking you to change the grade to a B. It was a difficult term. I don't get any money from home, and I have to work mornings at the Pancake House (as a cook), so I had to rush to make your class, and those two times that I missed class were because they wouldn't let me off work because of special events at the Pancake House (unlike some other students who just take off when they choose). On the midterm examination, I originally got a 75 percent, but you said in class that there were two different ways to answer the third question and that you would change the grades of students who used the "optimal cost" method and had been counted off 6 points for doing this. I don't think that you took this into account, because I got 80 percent on the final, which is clearly a B. Anyway, whatever you decide, I just want to tell you that I really enjoyed this class, and I thank you for making accounting so interesting. 5.14 Message Composition: Creating Effective Sentences Rewrite each sentence so that it is active rather than passive: a. The raw data are entered into the customer relationship management system by the sales representative each Friday. b. High profits are publicized by management. c. The policies announced in the directive were implemented by the staff. d. Our computers are serviced by the Santee Company e. The employees were represented by Janet Hogan.