7 Writing in the Workplace If writing must be a precise form of communication, it should be treated like a precision instrument. It should be sharpened, and it should not be used carelessly. Theodore M. Bernstein, editor, New York Times Conventional wisdom says that managers spend about 80 percent of their time communicating, and the higher managers go in their organizations, the more time they spend communicating. A recent study found that managers spend 25 hours per week reading and another 20 hours per week writing.1 While much of this communication involves oral, face-to-face interaction, some requires writing e-mails, memos, letters, and reports. All have the potential to play a critical part in the success of the manager and the organization. Given the time and effort required to put things in writing, readers may wonder why managers would prefer to write a message rather than communicate it orally. Written managerial communication offers several strategic advantages: economy, efficiency, accuracy, and official permanence. Writing is usually more economical than long-distance phone calls and much more economical than long-distance travel. Furthermore, it provides immediacy, in that the manager can write the message whether or not the receiver is immediately available to receive it. Writing is efficient because the manager can work independently and use words selectively. Additionally, e-mail allows receivers to read messages at their convenience and thus avoids the time wasted in telephone tag. Accuracy is another advantage of writing; writing permits greater control of words and message organization than does oral communication. Accuracy, in turn, often eliminates confusion, ensures clarity, and further contributes to economy and efficiency. Finally, writing provides an official record that can be retained for recall 284 and review. In our increasingly litigious society, the importance of documentation cannot be overstressed. Managers must understand that all documents generated by their organization are \"discoverable.\" Attorneys can compel their disclosure as part of pretrial procedures. This fact implies that all official records must be accurate and clear, able to stand up to scrutiny. The difference between a legal judgment for or against organizations and their managers is becoming more often a matter of adequate documentation. Once a manager has decided to capitalize on the benefits of writing as a communication channel, the manager should consider the unique characteristics of managerial writing. The Unique Role of Managerial Writing In recent years, the various fields addressing composition have given much attention to discourse communities. A discourse community is a group of people who think in similar ways about how to communicate subjects to be dealt with and how to approach them as well as what makes up legitimate knowledge. These communities may be large or small, and any organization may contain a number of discourse communities. Managers serve in sufficiently common roles and work in sufficiently common contexts to make them members of a unique discourse community. Managers are people who plan the organization's objectives, organize the functions of the organization, lead people in the accomplishment of those objectives, and control activities to make sure they are proceeding in the right direction. Equally important in defining the discourse community of managerial writers is the context in which they do their work. Context may be the most powerful variable affecting what writers in organizations do and how these writers perceive, interpret, and value their own activity. The following paragraphs examine several aspects of the unique context in which managerial writing occurs. One of the most critical aspects of the context of managerial writing is the fragmented nature of a manager's workday. Most people think of managers, especially higher-level executives, as having meticulously organized days overseen and protected by assistants. Henry Mintzberg 285 found the opposite to be true. As he and colleagues recorded the activities of a number of managers, he found their days to be filled with interruptions. On the average, they had a full half hour of uninterrupted time only once every four days.2 More recently, Gloria Mark observed employees at two high-tech firms and found that the average worker spends only eleven minutes on any given project before being interrupted. IT workers have it worse, getting interrupted every three minutes.3 Most people faced with a writing task like to go somewhere quiet and work in sizable blocks of time. Such luxury is rarely available to managers. Stop and Think 1. What are some other discourse communities that you have participated in? 2. What norms of behavior do they use? 3. What knowledge do they value? Another aspect of the managerial writing context is the extent of collaboration and delegation that occurs. As was noted earlier, collaboration is becoming more common in business and requires managers who can work well with others. Additionally, managers have the option of delegating some of their more routine writing chores.4 This delegation, however, presupposes the manager's knowledge of various employees' abilities and willingness to handle the assignment. The size and culture of the organization are also important elements of the context of managerial communication. Small companies can communicate many things orally, but the larger a company gets, the greater is the need to put things in writing for the record. With size also comes a tendency for greater formality in many written documents. With regard to culture, bureaucracies thrive on formality, while more participative organizations lean toward informality. Authority and politics play a significant role in the context of managerial writing. Max Weber described three types of authority: traditional, charismatic, and legal.5 How managers communicate messages is greatly 286 influenced by the type of authority they are perceived to have. Also, business organizations must be viewed as political systems.6 Managers who forget to consider the political forces at work in the company may soon find they no longer work at the company. In our increasingly litigious society, and given the ever-increasing role of government in business, legal concerns represent another important element of the managerial writing context. Managers are considered legal agents of the organization in many types of writing they do. They must be conscious of such things as libel, slander, privacy, and equal opportunity. For managers, the phenomenon of a discourse community means they face a unique writing environment (see Table 7-1). They must carefully analyze the organizational culture in which they work, they must find the best time and place to write, and they must always remember that writing has a unique role in the manager's job. A manager who has committed to using the written communication channel and who has considered the unique characteristics of writing in an organizational environment, as described in the previous sections of this chapter, is now ready to begin the writing process. This process consists of three stages: planning, composing, and revising. If the manager follows this process, the resulting document is more likely to be successful in reaching its goal. Table 7-1 Elements of a Manager's Discourse Community Fragmented workday Extensive collaboration Option to delegate Organization's size and culture Lines of authority Political forces 287 Legal concerns Stage 1: Planning Tim Glowa, cofounder of the marketing analytics firm Bug Insights, wanted to create more effective documents that would improve his professional reputation and generate business, so he studied the organization of reports and other documents that he admired. Today, he begins every memo and report with an outline of three main objectives. \"You can't just start typing and expect to go somewhere,\" he says. \"That's like going for a walk and not knowing where the destination is.\"7 The planning process for a managerial writer is a lot like the one journalists are trained to use. The parallel is logical since both might be characterized as professional writers. Both spend a significant amount of time writing at work, and both write for readers who are in a hurry. Thus, both might be expected to determine the five Wswhat, why, who, when, whereand how. What? The what question deals with the nature of the message. A manager should have a fairly clear idea of what needs to be communicated early in the planning stages. Does he need certain information? Is she granting or rejecting a request? Is he informing employees of a policy change? Is she trying to secure the cooperation of workers in implementing certain procedures? Any time readers see a message that seems to bounce from one side of an issue to another, any time readers are forced to wade through a message that rambles on endlessly and incoherently, any time readers wonder, \"What is this person trying to say?\" the chances are good that the writer did not know exactly what he was trying to say or what purpose he was trying to accomplish. Why? 288 The answer to the why question is probably just as important as the answer to the what question. Furthermore, the answer should be just as clear to the reader as it is to the writer. Unfortunately, many miscommunications occur because the sender does not know why a message is being sent or does not bother to share with the reader the reason for the message. Many corporate policies, procedures, and rules, for example, are imposed on employees without any accompanying justification. Personnel would probably be much more receptive to these directives if they understood why the directives were necessary. Humans are complex creatures who like to deal with cause and effect. When an effect is imposed and the cause is withheld, one likely result is resistance. Who? One of the most important elements of the planning that should precede any managerial communication is the answer to the who questionwho is receiving the message? Demographic characteristics, such as age, sex, education, political affiliations, and job title, may provide some indication as to how the reader will interpret a message. Within an organizational setting, however, these characteristics fall short of telling us about the writer-reader relationship and about the characteristics of the organization and the department that may be pertinent to successful message transmission. To engage in a truly thorough reader analysis and to be fully attuned to the reader's likely reception of a message, a writer should consider the following points: The relative power position between the writer and the reader The communication requirements the organization exerts on the reader and the writer The business functions in which the writer and reader work The frequency of communication between the writer and the reader The reader's reaction to past messages from the writer The relative sensitivity of the message The time spent on reader analysis may vary with the relative importance of the message. For very important messages, a writer may scrutinize all the 289 information available to determine the best wording, the most appropriate organization, the right medium, the best timing, and the best source and destination for the message. However, even routine messages will improve as a result of audience analysis and adaptation. When? The importance of the answer to the when question may vary according to how routine the information being conveyed is. Many routine messages, such as sales reports, are distributed periodically. No actual decision has to be made as to when they are sent because dates have already been set. Likewise, trivial information is likely to be received in the same way regardless of timing. For a nonroutine message, however, the decision on when to send it may directly affect how the message is received. For example, the managers of a textile mill had to tell employees they were not going to get a pay raise even though the company had shown a profit the preceding quarter. Management chose to convey this message in letterform just before the employees went on vacation. Not only did this timing likely ruin the vacations of many employees, but it probably encouraged as well a number of them to spend their vacations looking for another job. On the subject of timing, managers need to keep in mind that it is possible to send messages too early as well as too late. For example, we noted in Chapter 4 that agendas should be sent to participants two or three days before a meeting. If the agenda and supporting materials are sent too early, the recipients forget the meeting by the time it is scheduled to occur. But if the material is sent too late, participants might not have time to get fully prepared for the meeting. Where? The where question sometimes has to be addressed at both ends of the communication spectrum: From where should the message come and to where should it be directed? Should the message come from a manager at a particular level, or should it come from a person higher in the organization, so as to carry the additional weight of authority? 290 At the other end of the spectrum, we may have to decide where the reader should be while receiving the message. To illustrate, some companies have grappled with the problem of newsletter distribution: whether to send it to employees' homes or distribute it at work. Sending it to the homes might get the families interested, but it might also be viewed as an infringement of employee privacy or personal time. How? The how question is largely a matter of media selection. Even when managers decide to put it in writing, they are still faced with a number of written media options: letter, memo, report, e-mail, brochure, newsletter, manual, or even bulletin board. The choice of medium is determined at least in part by how personal the message needs to be, how widespread its distribution, and how quickly it needs to reach the audience. Many of these factors were reviewed in Chapter 3. Additionally, managers should remember a guideline that applies to media selection in general. If a manager regularly uses one particular medium, the choice of a different medium might communicate a sense of urgency or importance. For example, if a manager regularly communicates with employees in person, a memo might suggest something unusual and worthy of extra attention. Though the preceding planning concerns were discussed separately and in a particular order, they are all interdependent and should not be treated in isolation. The good managerial communicator learns to see the interrelationships and to treat the five Ws and H as a decision package. Stop and Think Think of a situation other than business writing where planning is the key to success. Try to answer the five Ws and H for that situation. Then decide to what extent going through that process will help you to reach your goal. 291 Stage 2: Composing Once the planning stage has been carried out satisfactorily, the manager is ready to begin building the message that will accomplish the purpose to be served. More specifically, the manager must compose a message. Words need to be chosen with care and organized in a clear, comprehensive, and coherent fashion. The manager should follow the guidelines described next when selecting words and composing them into sentences and paragraphs. The result is a document written in contemporary style. Selecting Words Words are symbols that define the content of a message; thus, words should be carefully selected so the overall content will accomplish the communication's goal. Each word carries the potential for contributing to the effectiveness of the message, and each carries the potential for causing misunderstanding. Great care should be taken to ensure message effectiveness and avoid misunderstanding. The following principles will help writers accomplish their goals. Principle 1: Choose Words Precisely While some business documents (contracts, job offer letters, performance appraisals) may call for high levels of precision, managers would be wise to exercise care in choosing words in all their writing. And as they strive for this precision, they should remember that words can have both denotative and connotative meanings. Denotative meanings are objective; they point to; they describe. Most people think of dictionary definitions as denotative meanings because these definitions are compiled from the common usages associated with a word. Most people agree on the denotative definitions of termsthat is, they agree as long as there are no words similar in sound or appearance to confuse the issue. For example, can you pick out the correct word in each of the following sentences? The advertising agency that we just bought should profitably (complement, compliment) our manufacturing and distribution interests. 292 My computer printer has operated (continually, continuously) for the last five years. The manager assured us that he had (appraised, apprised) his superior of the shipping problem. The secretary made an (illusion, allusion) to what had taken place in the cafeteria. To persuade upper management to take this action, we will need the testimony of an expert who is completely (uninterested, disinterested). Along the same lines, consider the following excerpts from letters written to a government agency: \"I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.\" \"Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.\" In business writing, wrong word choices can produce embarrassing humor at best and considerable confusion at worst. Neither is likely to provide a boost to a manager's career. Connotative meanings, on the other hand, are subjective. They can be different for different people because they are determined largely by a person's previous experiences or associations with a word and its referent. Though connotations are subjective, people can manipulate the language to bring forth either positive or negative connotations. An expression with intended positive connotations is called a euphemism. The words slim and slender are much more euphemistic than are words such as skinny and scrawny. As advertisers and other interested parties try to portray life in the most pleasant way possible, euphemisms have become a part of American life. When, however, euphemisms are used in an effort to veil or gloss over major human and environmental tragedies, we must recognize the language abuse and the feeble cover-up. When collateral damage is used to describe the deaths of innocent civilians in war, for example, we must wonder at the value assessed to human lives by the people using these descriptions. 293 Managers as well as people in other careers bear a responsibility to their audiences to use the language as accurately as possible. Managers should strive to communicate precisely and honestly and to avoid insulting the reader's intelligence. Additionally, they should try to act as responsibly as they can in using words as control tools and instruments of change.8 Principle 2: Use Short Rather Than Long Words Winston Churchill once said, \"Big men use little words and little men use big words.\" People who are genuinely confident in their ideas generally feel quite comfortable using simple words that are easy to understand. Short words are usually less confusing than long words. Long words, especially when strung out with several other long words, can produce a communication barrier between writer and reader. Written business communications should be economical and efficient. Table 7-2 provides alternatives for some of the many longer words used and abused in business writing. We are not suggesting that the use of any words in the left-hand column will condemn a message to ambiguity and obscurity. The caution here refers to the unnecessary use of long, difficult words. When overused, they tax a reader's understandingand patienceand create a barrier to effective communication. The U.S. Congress has recognized the importance of \"plain language\" in government forms, benefits applications, reports, regulations, and other documents. Beginning in 2007, Congress considered bills mandating that government agencies use language that is clear and well organized and that follows best practices of writing. The Plain Language in Government Communications Bill of 2007 (S.2291), cosponsored by ten senators, failed by just one vote in the fall 2008 session. One opponent was Utah's Senator Robert Bennett, who voiced concern that such legislation would cause legal terms to become lost in translation, though he agreed that the measure would improve Americans' access to their government. Another Plain Language bill (HR 946) was introduced in February 2009 and was signed into law by President Barack Obama in October 2010. The Plain Writing Act mandates that federal employees be trained to write clear, concise, well-organized documents to the public regarding their benefits or services or regarding filing taxes. Documents include (whether in paper or 294 electronic form) letters, publications, forms, notices, and instructions. At the state level, more than twenty-two states now have plain language statutes on their books, notably New York, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Florida, Minnesota, California, Oregon, and Washington. Principle 3: Use Concrete Rather Than Abstract Words In discussing a topic, a writer can choose from a range of words. This range or continuum might be thought of as a ladder that the writer can climb. This ladder (see Figure 7-1) moves from concrete (specific) words on the lowest rungs to the more abstract (general) words on the highest rungs. Table 7-2 Words to Avoid and Acceptable Alternatives Instead of Writing This Try Using This advise tell ameliorate improve approbation approval commence begin demonstrate show encounter meet expectancy hope explicate explain locality place modification change 295 perspicacity sense subsequent to after terminate end usage use utilize use Concrete words tend to be specific; they create clear pictures in the reader's mind. Abstract words are less specific and produce wider, more general interpretations of meanings. The ladder moves from something easily visualized to something that is more abstract, even vague, as shown by the examples in Figure 7-1. The level of abstraction or concreteness depends in part on the reader's background, needs, and expectations. Abstract words and phrases threaten some readers and generate mistrust and confusion. They give rise to questions that the text may or may not answer: When? How many? Who? How much? Which one? Notice the differing amount of information in the pairs of expressions in Table 7-3. Principle 4: Economize on Words Concrete words and phrases frequently create sharp, vivid images and stimulate reader interest. Forming concrete phrases may take more time and thought, but such phrases are more efficient and stay with the reader longer than do abstract phrases.9 Additionally, concrete writing takes less time to read, produces better message comprehension, and is less likely to need rereading than abstract writing.10 Figure 7-1 Abstraction Ladders The scientist Blaise Pascal wrote a twenty-page letter to a friend in 1656. 296 In a postscript, he apologized for the letter's length, saying, \"I hope you will pardon me for writing such a long letter, but I did not have time to write you a shorter one.\" Pascal was testifying to the fact that conciseness economy of word choicetakes time and effort. A practical, bottom-line reason exists to write concisely. Wordiness costs companies money. Unnecessary words take valuable time to compose and read; they waste paper and resources. Consider the following two versions of a business message. Enclosed please find a check in the amount of $82.56. In the event that you find the amount to be neither correct nor valid, subsequent to an examination of your records, please inform us of your findings at your earliest convenience. Enclosed is a check for $82.56. If this amount is incorrect, please let us know. The second version takes fifteen words to say the same thing said by the first version in forty-one wordsa reduction of over 63 percent. Why do people in business continue to be wordy when such reductions are possible? Two likely reasons stand out. One is that writers often use wordy phrases out of habits that developed when they had to write long essays in school. In evaluating students' work, quantity is sometimes as important as quality to teachers. The other reason is that untrained business writers often look to the files for a model when faced with a writing assignment on the job. When the files are filled with jargon and wordy expressions and when the novices mimic these writing patterns, the tradition of verbal waste continues. Note in Table 7-4 examples that follow how the wordy/redundant expressions on the left can be replaced by the more economical alternatives on the right. Table 7-3 Abstract and Concrete Expressions Instead of Writing This Try Using This student earned the highest semester total grade 297 point in a class of sixty-eight students in the near future by Friday, June 19 a significant profit a 28 percent markup a noteworthy savings 50 percent off the normal price at your earliest convenience by the close of business this Friday Table 7-4 Wordy Phrases and Concise Alternatives Instead of Writing This Try Using This due to the fact that because for the purpose of for for the reason that since, because in order to to in the event that if with reference to about pursuant to your request as requested subsequent to after along the lines of like true facts facts 298 true facts facts necessary steps required requirements basic principles principles enclosed herein please find here is look forward with anticipation anticipate consensus of opinion consensus from the point of view of from inasmuch as since, because in accordance with as on the grounds that because at a later time later (or a time) within a period of one year within one year take into consideration consider a check in the amount of a check for for which there was no use useless that could not be collected uncollectible notwithstanding the fact that although If today's emphasis on controlling costs is to be applied to business writing, the expressions illustrated in the left column will have to be replaced by the alternatives in the right column.11 Though writing concisely is time-consuming at first, it eventually becomes a relatively 299 A good example of economy in writing is text messaging. Students and workers alike have learned to extract main ideas from chunks of information and experiences and to communicate these ideas in cryptic messages. As discussed in Chapter 3, texting has replaced e-mail in many organizations as the channel of choice because of its simplicity and immediacy. Living in the era of information overload, readers ask, \"What do we need to know? Why do we need to know it?\" And texters limit their messages accordingly. One might argue that economy in writing necessarily causes meaning to be lost. However, Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser have shown that messages can be short on words while deep in meaning. Founders of the online magazine SMITH, they asked the world to send in six-word memoirs. They used Ernest Hemingway's example as a model. According to legend, when asked to write a novel in only six words, Hemingway came up with \"For sale: baby shoes, never worn.\" Over 15,000 people responded to the challenge. Some notable examples posted on SMITH include these: \"My second-grade teacher was right.\"Janelle Brown \"Secret of life: Marry an Italian.\"Nora Ephron \"Took scenic route, got in late.\"Will Blythe \"Became my mother. Please shoot me.\"Cynthia Kaplan \"It's pretty high. You go first.\"Alan Eagle12 Principle 5: Avoid Clichs and Jargon Trite expressions or clichs have an accepted meaning; however, these words yield dull messages that lack creativity. Readers may understand what is written, but the message appears impersonal, since the writer has injected nothing original into it. Additionally, trite phrases often go out of style quickly, so the writing (and writer) may seem timeworn. Table 7-5 presents some examples of overused phrases to avoid and their alternatives. Stop and Think 300 Stop and Think 1. Which of the two following statements is more powerful? \"Well, please stop me if you've heard this before, but I've been giving this matter a lot of thought, and I'm concerned about whether the solution we're considering is actually going to help us to achieve our goals, don't you agree?\" \"That won't work.\" 2. If you selected the second statement, what conclusion should you draw about the importance of conciseness? The examples in Table 7-5 illustrate a significant shortcoming in the use of these hackneyed phrases. They can have more than one meaning. Furthermore, sometimes they are simply vague, and sometimes their logic can be questioned. These weaknesses are illustrated in the following examples: \"At an early date\" or \"at your earliest convenience\" Such phrases usually follow a request for information or for a favor of some sort. They are normally used by people who do not want to appear pushy. Such people do not realize two things. One is that the reader's \"earliest convenience\" may end up being something quite different from what the writer had in mind. The second is that businesspeople deal with deadlines all the time. They are not likely to take offense when asked for something within a range of time if the writer concisely and courteously states the reason for the time range, as in the following example: Table 7-5 Trite Expressions and Alternatives Instead of Writing This Try Using This white as a sheet pale 301 few and far between rare follow in the footsteps of pursue the same career run it up the flagpole try it out, test a solution in this day and age, nowadays today stretches the truth exaggerates, lies clean as a whistle sanitary, clean for all intents and purposes in every practical sense, in essence really down to earth realistic, honest, sincere as luck would have it unfortunately, luckily \"So that we may fill your order as quickly as possible, please send us this information by March 21.\" Some readers interpret these two clichs as presumptuous: \"Thanking you in advance\" and \"permit me to say\" Besides being timeworn, mechanical, and impersonal, the first expression seems to say, \"I expect you to comply with my request, but I don't want to have to take the time to thank you later, so I'll do it now.\" The second expression seems to seek permission, but the writer says what he or she wants to say before getting that permission. The second expression should be dropped, and the first might be replaced by, \"I appreciate any help you can give me in the matter.\" 302 \"I appreciate any help you can give me in the matter.\" Jargon is the technical language or specified terms that become part of the everyday vocabulary of an organization or discipline. Insiders know what the words mean, but outsiders/customers may not. Jargon includes technical terms, acronyms, and terms used in special ways. When writing to readers outside the organization, managers should avoid using jargon. Rather, they should choose the layperson's version whenever possible to reduce the likelihood that the reader will misunderstand the message.13 Additionally, some organizations are so large that the people in one functional unit may not understand the jargon of other units. The lists in Table 7-6 illustrate how some jargon used in business might be simplified. With only one exception, the descriptions on the right are wordier than the jargon on the left. If these wordier versions ensure understanding and prevent inquiries aimed at clarification, then the extra effort and words used will have been worthwhile. This is a decision managers must make when writing. Acronyms can be particularly troublesome. In some situations, an acronym may be perfectly appropriate, while in other situations, it may cause a problem. For instance, in one division of Exxon, a DHR is the director of human resources, but in other divisions, it is a by-product of the chemical scrubbing process. Finally, a word of caution about business-ese. Expressions and terms can quickly become popular in business circles and then become obsolete just as quickly. A Texas entrepreneur, Ron Sturgeon, captured 1,200 examples of \"biz jargon\" in his book Green Weenies and Due Diligence. Some are funny and colorful (\"herding cats,\" \"circling the drain,\" \"mouse milking\"), while some are more sober (\"dilution,\" \"FTE,\" \"synergy\").14 Sometimes, in a misguided attempt to sound professional, business-ese makes longer words out of short ones, such as functionality for \"functions\" and objectivality for \"objectives.\" When deciding whether to use business-ese in your message, be guided by your receiver's expectations, the communication climate, and the cultural context (see Chapter 2). Table 7-6 Jargon and Simpler Alternatives Instead of 303 TQM Total quality management Accounts receivable Firms or people owing money to the company Amounts payable Amounts owed by the company HVI bonus Extra pay for selling high-volume machines Maturity date Date that final payment is due Feedstock Raw materials used for manufacturing in the petrochemical industry Duplexing Photocopyist's term meaning copying on both sides of a sheet of paper FAA Federal Aviation Administration Abstract History of the property Per diem Daily Assessed valuation Value of the property for tax purposes Current ratio Ratio of current assets to current liabilities CRM Customer relations management ROI Return on investment, expected outcome Principle 6: Use Positive Words That Convey Courtesy As stated earlier, written communications present stimuli and generate responses. Generally, the more positive the stimuli, the more positive the 304 As stated earlier, written communications present stimuli and generate responses. Generally, the more positive the stimuli, the more positive the response. Conversely, the more negative the stimuli, the more negative the response. Behavioral scientists, for example, tell us that employees will live either up or down to the expectations communicated by their managers.15 Whether a manager is dealing with direct reports, superiors, peers, customers, suppliers, or others, she is likely to want her message to be well received. The positive wording of a request, of information, or even of bad news should increase the probability of a positive or at least neutral reaction by the receiver. The difference between positive and negative wording is not a matter of content but of emphasis. Negative messages emphasize the least desirable aspects of a situation. As such, they are likely to arouse defensive or antagonistic responses from the reader. The sender of an effective communication must establish credibility and goodwill with the receiver, and positiveness and courtesy aid the manager in developing these aspects. The following examples illustrate the different impacts that can be generated by positive and negative wordings of messages: I cannot have the report ready by tomorrow morning. I can have the report completed by 3:30 p.m. Wednesday. You should not use Form A to file the weekly sales report. Form B is the weekly sales report form. We regret to inform you that we must deny your request for a promotion because you haven't earned enough continuing education credits. As soon as you earn six more continuing education credits, we can process your request for a promotion. In each of the alternative statements in the preceding examples, the writer uses positive and concrete words to state what can be done or what has been done rather than what cannot be done or what has not been done. Let's look at a real-life example. In the hospitality management industry, theft of hotel-room amenities is a major cost of doing business. Guests routinely steal towels, pens, even furniture from their hotel rooms. Instead 305 Dear Guest, Due to the popularity of our guest room amenities, our Housekeeping Department now offers these items for sale: Irons: $40.00 Ironing boards: $30.00 Blow dryer: $30.00 Bath towels: $15.00 Hand towels: $10.00 Each guest room attendant is responsible for maintaining the guest room items. Should you decide to take these articles from your room instead of obtaining them from the Executive Housekeeper, we will assume you approve a corresponding charge to your account. Thank you. Is that not better than saying, \"Don't steal items from the room\"? Although we should not totally avoid negatives, we can minimize them. Some phrases, because they seem discourteous, are likely to irritate readers. Words and phrases like \"inexcusable,\" \"you claim that,\" \"your insinuation,\" \"you failed to,\" and \"obviously you overlooked\" should be avoided if possible. The next chapter on messages will explain this point further. Being positive and conveying courtesy in word choice also involves using gender-neutral language. Rarely is it necessary for writers to identify people as male or female. Today, we use gender-neutral terms to describe jobs. Also, pronouns and nouns that refer to one sex when both are being described (manpower) are unacceptable. Likewise, expressions that belittle the behavior or qualities of one gender should be avoided. Table 7-7 presents unacceptable and acceptable terms. On the subject of sexism in writing, one particularly thorny problem is the 306 acceptable terms. On the subject of sexism in writing, one particularly thorny problem is the generic or universal pronoun he. Until about thirty years ago, the standard practice had been to use he in impersonal constructions where both sexes were to be included: \"Each person has his own problems to resolve.\" Authorities have noted that such constructions can make women feel ignored in the business world. Fortunately, managers have several options available for avoiding such pronoun use. One is the use of plural nouns and pronouns. Instead of \"A manager should motivate his employees,\" one could write \"Managers should motivate their employees.\" Another option is the use of \"he and she,\" \"his or her,\" \"s/he,\" or \"his/her.\" Though not entirely graceful, this option is considered acceptable. Writers should be careful, however, not to use this option too often, for it could hinder style and readability. Another technique, one used widely in this book, is to alternate masculine and feminine pronouns. One paragraph may use she as the generic pronoun, while the next might use he. While this technique avoids the generic he, it does not sacrifice style the way he or she sometimes does. Furthermore, traditional usage is spared, at least in part. Table 7-7 Terms to Avoid and Acceptable Alternatives Instead of Writing This Try Using This man (when referring to species) humanity, human beings, humans, people man (verb) staff, guard, mind, watch man hours work hours man-made hand made, artisanal, hand crafted manpower employees, staff, workers, workforce 307 businessman business executive, manager cameraman camera operator chairman chairperson freshman first-year student fireman firefighter foreman supervisor, spokesperson (of a jury) housewife stay-at-home spouse lady doctor/lawyer/realtor doctor/lawyer/realtor mailman mail carrier middleman intermediary policeman police officer salesman salesperson stewardess flight attendant A fourth nonsexist technique is one that is not satisfactory to strict grammarians. It uses plural pronouns for traditionally singular antecedent references, such as each, every, everyone, everybody, or anybody. For example, \"Everyone has their problems to resolve.\" This technique, called the \"singular they,\" legitimizes popular use. The last and best suggestion is to replace third-person pronouns (he/she) with second person (you). Not only does this avoid the gender issue, it directly engages the reader too. Thus, \"If you are going to be late, call your supervisor\" is better than \"If an employee is going to be late, he/she should call his/her supervisor.\" 308 call his/her supervisor.\" Principle 7: Use a Conversational Style Sentences communicate effectively when they use everyday language when the words are those that would be used in face-to-face communication. A conversational style involves writing with words from a person's speaking vocabulary. Usually, the words should not include colloquialisms, slang, or jargon; they should be the language most people would use in conducting everyday business. The most successful business professional who exemplifies writing in a conversational style is billionaire investor Warren Buffett, chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, Inc. In 2005, The National Commission on Writing honored Buffett's folksy annual report. \"No annual report has had a greater impact on American business,\" said Bob Kerrey, the commission's chair and president of The New School, A University in New York.16 Buffett's 2017 annual letter to shareholders, while maintaining his trademark style, communicated his strategy for investing. He used clear, direct words to connect with shareholders as he described the previous year's performance. \"As is the case in marriage, business acquisitions often deliver surprises after the 'I do's.' I've made some dumb purchases, paying far too much for the economic goodwill of companies we acquired,\" he wrote.17 Buffett's conversational writing style is not an aberration. Other successful executives, such as Bill Gates, openly admire it. In an interview with Maria Bartiromo in February 2009, Gates admitted that writing an annual letter about his foundation's activities was Buffett's ideaand Gates \"ran a few drafts by him. . . . His advice is very helpful.\"18 A conversational style is particularly important in business letters, since it aids in developing the \"you viewpoint.\" The you viewpoint involves consideration of the reader's point of view. It helps a writer personalize letters, something most readers appreciate in business correspondence.19 Before writing, the sender identifies who will receive the information; the reader's need for the information; and as much as possible, her knowledge, expertise, interests, culture, and value system. Even form paragraphs and letters can be written with a personal touch, an 309 though they were composed by a human being rather than a jargon-stuffed computer. And technology makes it easier than it has ever been to personalize a form paragraph or letter. These first seven principles have focused on the selection of words. Since each word can influence the total message, each word deserves attention. The manager also needs to analyze the combination and organization of words strategically to ensure effective communication. The remaining principles will address the ways in which words might be grouped for best effect. Organizing Words For Effect The next four principles discuss organizational guidelines for putting words together to convey a message. Comprehension is largely determined by the extent to which the writer uses these principles. Principle 8: Keep Sentences Short We sometimes encounter long-winded sentences in business writing. These seemingly never-ending constructions stem from several possible causes. One cause mentioned earlier is the need to impress. Consider the following example from a government report: It is obvious from the difference in elevation with relation to the short depth of the field that the contour is such as to preclude any reasonable development potential for economic utilization. One would have to study the preceding message long and hard to figure out that the writer was, in fact, saying: The field is too steep to plow. On the other hand, some people write these lengthy, roundabout sentences to avoid appearing forward or pushy, as in the following example: 310 to avoid appearing forward or pushy, as in the following example: During the past two weeks, we have been wondering if you have as yet found yourself in a position to give us an indication of whether or not you have been able to come to a decision on our offer. Most businesspeople who face deadlines daily would not be offended if they were asked a question more to the point: Have you decided on the offer we made you two weeks ago? Another possible cause for unnecessarily long sentences is the need to say everything that can be said about a topic in one sentence. Note the confusion created by the following example and the improvement in the alternative version. Although seventeen people from our department (purchasing) attended the workshop, nine of them, including Jerry Stoves, had no background for the topic of the workshop (advanced negotiating technique) offered by the Purchasing Association of Chicago. Last week seventeen people from our purchasing department attended a workshop on advanced negotiating techniques. The Purchasing Association of Chicago offered the workshop. Of the seventeen who attended, Jerry Stoves and eight others lacked the necessary background. One way to shorten sentences is to avoid expletive constructions: \"It . . . that\" and \"There is . . .\" or \"There are . . .\" An expletive has no grammatical antecedent in a sentence, and it often diffuses the focus of the message by displacing or even eliminating people in the sentence. For example, in the sentence \"It is thought that interest rates will fall,\" the word it has no antecedent, yet it gets the main emphasis. The person who holds this opinion is unknown. A better wording would be \"I think that 311 \"there are\" constructions merely add length and waste time. Rather than saying, \"There are three options from which you can choose,\" say, \"You can choose from three options.\" Unnecessarily long sentences require readers to spend too much time trying to understand the message. And the more time and patience required to understand a message, the less likely the reader is to understand the purpose. Effective writing is easy and quick to read. Studies show that good business sentences are fifteen to twenty words long. They also use no more than ten long (three-or-more-syllable) words in every one hundred words. Effective sentences express one main point. Any connected phrases or clauses should explain that point. When we place two or more important ideas in the same sentence, we reduce the importance of each and often confuse the reader. Principle 9: Prefer the Active to the Passive Voice The active voice presents the parts of a sentence in the normal order expected by English-speaking people. The subject of the sentence is the actor, who is acting in a way portrayed by the verb, and the action is directed toward the object. The following sentences illustrate the active voice: David Lopez directed the meeting. Donna Hebert enforced the policy. Ridley Gros promoted the university. The passive voice reverses the order of the parts so that the subject is being acted on by the object in a way depicted by the verb. The meeting was directed by David Lopez. The policy was enforced by Donna Hebert. The university was promoted by Ridley Gros. Besides the reversed order and the slight additional length, the passive voice weakens the sentence construction by making the doer of the action the object of the \"by\" phrase. Furthermore, the passive voice carries the hazard of luring the writer into longer, more roundabout expressions.20 312 the object of the \"by\" phrase. Furthermore, the passive voice carries the hazard of luring the writer into longer, more roundabout expressions.20 For example, instead of writing, The new president reorganized the administration, we see A reorganization of the administration was effected by the new president. Though managerial writers should favor the active voice in the majority of the sentences they construct, they may occasionally prefer the passive voice. Passive voice is more diplomatic. Notice that by eliminating the by phrase from a passive-voice sentence, we eliminate the doer of the action. In sensitive matters or when addressing people of higher authority, this may be appropriate. Note the following diplomatic transformation. Active: The director of purchasing has been soliciting bids from unauthorized vendors. Passive: Bids from unauthorized vendors have been solicited by the director of purchasing. Passive minus the by phrase: Bids from unauthorized vendors have been solicited. Principle 10: Organize Paragraphs Logically Paragraphs bring separate thoughts together and arrange them to convey a single important idea. A paragraph is a device to combine sentences to form messages. Alone, these sentences might seem illogical and would not make the same point. Five guidelines can help writers develop effective paragraphs (see Table 7-8). First, present one major idea in a paragraph, along with whatever support is necessary for the development of that idea.21 This paragraph quality is called unity. 313 supporting ideas in the sentences that follow. Inductive paragraphs begin with the details or the support and end with the main idea. The deductive pattern is the most commonly used, but the inductive pattern is useful for persuasion. Third, use a variety of sentence structures in a paragraph. A paragraph that contains all simple sentences can be tedious; interest builds when a combination of sentence structures is used. Fourth, structure paragraphs to emphasize important points. Emphasis can be accomplished in a variety of ways: Repeat key concepts. Use attention-getting words, such as action verbs and the personal pronoun you. Use typographical devices, such as bullets, text boxes, italics, boldface, or numbers. Table 7-8 Developing Effective Paragraphs 1. Present one major idea in a paragraph. 2. Decide if a deductive or an inductive pattern is appropriate. 3. Use a variety of sentence structures in a paragraph. 4. Structure paragraphs to emphasize important points. 5. Keep paragraphs relatively short. Be sure that bulleted lists, repeated phrases, and compound structures are in parallel form. Sentence elements that are alike in function should also be alike in construction.22 Look at the following examples: Parallel: The company has a mission statement and a code of ethics. Not parallel: Citizens are concerned with whether the president has lied under oath or looking directly into the cameras. Excellent examples of parallel structure can be found in the words of great orators. Look at this excerpt from the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s 314 Excellent examples of parallel structure can be found in the words of great orators. Look at this excerpt from the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s famous \"I Have a Dream\" speech: \"So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania. Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado.\" Notice how the repetition and parallel structure of these sentences add rhythm, balance, and a buildup of emotion. Fifth, keep paragraphs relatively short. Short paragraphs are easy to read and give more emphasis to the information they contain. Readers need visual and mental breaks so they can assimilate the message; short paragraphs help to achieve these breaks. In business letters and short memos, paragraphs usually average four to six lines in length; in reports, they average eight to ten lines. Exceptions, however, will sometimes be justified by the need for emphasis (shorter paragraphs) or by the complexity of the material (longer paragraphs). These guidelines for composing short, strong, clear messages are followed by prominent leaders in fields other than business. One example is Lieutenant General Gus Pagonis, who was the officer in charge of logistics during the Persian Gulf War of 1991. His book Moving Mountains: Lessons in Leadership and Logistics from the Gulf War tells how he delivered meals, fuel, ammunition, and other supplies to 541,000 U.S. military forces in Kuwait during the 100-hour lightning ground war. Pagonis wrote that his operating principle was KISSKeep It Simple Stupid. An important application of that principle was his communication patterns. He limited paperwork to an amazing 3-by-5-inch index card per report. Furthermore, he limited all e-mail messages to just six lines. Apparently no one could take time to scroll. Under harrowing wartime conditions, Pagonis's insistence on good writing contributed to his success. Principle 11: Be Coherent With coherent writing, the relationship between sentences is clear. Sentences flow from one to another easily and smoothly. This movement from one thought to another is accomplished through transition, which is sometimes described as a bridge that connects thoughts. Transitions may be natural or mechanical. 315 second flows naturally and smoothly from the first. Note the smooth movement from the first thought to the second in the following opening paragraph to a job application letter. Now that the Dillon Pharmaceutical Company is expanding its Western region, won't you need trained and experienced sales representatives to call on accounts in the new territory? With a degree in marketing and eight successful years in pharmaceutical sales, I believe that I am well qualified to be one of those representatives. The first sentence introduces the ideas of training and experience, and the second sentence builds on that introduction. Often, however, a writer cannot rely on the content of thoughts to show a clear connection between them. The writer may have to show that connection with mechanical transitions. A writer can (a) repeat key words, to show the reader that the same subject is still being addressed; (b) use pronouns and synonyms, to avoid being too repetitious; or (c) use transition words, words that are used to connect thoughts and show a particular type of relationship between them. Table 7-9 lists some frequently used transition words. In addition to making sure the thoughts within a paragraph flow smoothly, writers should be concerned that this quality of coherence pervades the entire document. More specifically, paragraphs, like sentences, need to be clearly related. Sometimes this relationship is shown through the use of transitional devices, such as those previously discussed. At other times, an entire sentence at the beginning or end of a paragraph will be used to show the relationship of that paragraph to the one that precedes or follows it. As we move into longer and more complex documents, such as reports, the task of ensuring coherence becomes more involved. For example, a fivepage section of a twenty-five-page report may need an introductory paragraph to show what is included in that section. It may also need a concluding paragraph to tie up the section and show how it relates to the larger purpose of the report. A simpler kind of transitional device is a \"Janus statement,\" named for the Roman god with two facesone looking backward and one looking ahead. The writer can accomplish both a review 316 backward and one looking ahead. The writer can accomplish both a review and a preview with a Janus statement, such as \"Now that we have described X, let us turn our attention to Y.\" Table 7-9 Frequently Used Transition Words but accordingly even so next again on the other hand thus consequently furthermore then otherwise in summary finally besides similarly hence conversely as a result still to illustrate in contrast also in addition subsequently and however for example A final way to build coherence in long documents is by using headings and subheadings. Chapter 9 addresses report and proposal writing in more detail, including heading use. Before we leave the subject of coherence, a word of caution may be in order. Though the transitional devices discussed here can show relationships to readers, logical organization is the foundation of coherent writing. Writers must clearly understand why information is being arranged in a certain way. They must have a logical plan of presentation, for transitional devices cannot show relationships that do not exist. Stage 3: Revising 317 practice. Few writers possess the skill to write clear copy in one sitting.23 The multitude of writing principles, approaches, and grammatical rules requires all writers to check their work. Revising is a service to the reader. Thus, the writer should begin stage 3 by shifting perspective, distancing himself from the writing, and assuming the role of the reader. It is difficult to objectively examine the message from the reader's viewpoint; however, the following questions can help systematize the revision process: What is my purpose? Have I included all the information the reader wants or needs to know to understand my message? Does my message answer all the reader's questions? Is there any information nonessential to the reader that I can delete? Have I included reader benefits? Next, revising involves (a) reading what has been written for clarity, concreteness, and conversational tone; (b) determining factual accuracy; (c) organizing to ensure coherence;24 (d) rewording awkward sentences and phrases; and (e) rearranging content and adding illustrations and transitions. Writers should not assume their prose is satisfactory after only one or two drafts. Few people write that well.25 The final step is to edit the document for correctness. Running a spellchecker and grammar checker will catch most surface errors. However, these devices will not detect when the wrong word is used if it is spelled correctly, such as too/two or read/red. Grammar checkers also follow rules and may ignore elements that change the intended meaning. An amusing, well-known case where punctuation significantly changes a sentence's meaning is the following: A woman, without her man, is nothing. A woman: without her, man is nothing.26 The amount of revising and editing necessary will depend on the individual writer's skill. However, all good writers rewrite. They even sometimes have someone else read their work before finalizing it. Others can often detect errors or confusing statements that writers miss because writers read into their messages what they want to communicate. For example, David McCombie, principal of the McCombie Group, uses his partner as a sounding board. \"I send anything that's important to my partner and he reads it over. We talk about whether there is a better way to 318 partner and he reads it over. We talk about whether there is a better way to convey an idea, how we can be more succinct.\"27 At the very least, a writer should set aside a draft and let it \"cool off\" for a while before revising. When e-mailing, a writer can queue messages to be reread rather than composing and immediately clicking the Send button. Hastily sent e-mails can be embarrassingly incomplete or inaccurate. Though revising and editing may seem time-consuming and tedious, the results are worth the effort. By making the message clearer and easier to understand, revising benefits the reader and reduces the likelihood of requests for later clarification. In the long run, it saves time and money while enhancing the writer's image. When revising and editing, an easy way to keep your goal in sight is to remember the \"Seven Cs\" of good business writing. Table 7-10 presents these guidelines. In a recent survey of business writers, 81 percent of respondents agreed with the statement \"Poorly written material wastes my time.\" They identify the characteristics of poorly written documents as too long (65%), poorly organized (65%), unclear (61%), using too much jargon (54%), not precise enough (54%), and not direct enough (49%).28 The planning, composing, and revising process described here can help you avoid these problems and compose more effective messages at work. Collaborative Writing A major development in the modern corporate world is the emergence of collaborative writing. It is becoming more prevalent because of the increased emphasis on teamwork. Also, these teams frequently consist of people with unique specialties that they bring to bear toward the successful completion of major projects. Though it may assume any of many forms, collaborative writing is entrenched in contemporary professional writing. At America West Airlines, most of the reports are collaboratively written. The same is true at Accenture. One researcher notes that collaboration has increased by 50 percent in the last two decades, with collaborators contributing informational (knowledge), social (professional connections), and personal 319 study of U.S. employees found that 38 percent of workers want more collaboration at work.30 Collaborative writing comes in a number of different guises. Sometimes a supervisor has a staff member research and write a document, after which the supervisor edits it. Sometimes the collaboration comes in the planning of the document, which is composed and revised by an individual. Other times, an individual does the planning and composing of work that is revised collaboratively. Peers often critique one another's work. And there are times when the collaboration pervades the entire writing process from start to finish.31 Recent research indicates that a typical document cycles through three to five revisions before it is sent to the intended readers. Table 7-10 The Seven Cs of Good Business Writing Answer all reader questions Completeness Include the five Ws and H Shorten or delete wordy expressions Conciseness Avoid repetition Focus on \"you,\" the reader Consideration Show reader benefits or interests Emphasize the positive Use specific facts and data Concreteness Use active, not passive, voice Rely on vivid, image-building words Use short, familiar words Clarity Avoid jargon Follow a logical sequence of points 320 Be tactful and appreciative Courtesy Avoid discriminatory language Respond promptly Maintain accurate writing mechanics Correctness Avoid \"wrong word\" errors Advantages of Collaborative Writing Collaborative writing is becoming more popular, largely because of the advantages of group decision making. It often works better than an individual effort because of the additional minds and perspectives being applied to creating the document. Furthermore, the understanding of and the motivation to carry out the directives of the document are greater among those who actually contributed to its development. Stop and Think 1. Why do you think that businesses typically cycle documents so thoroughly before releasing them? 2. How important is it that business documents generated by a business have a clear and consistent \"voice\" or style? Collaborative writing is also thought to be particularly advantageous when the size of the task and/or time limits call for the labor of more than one person, when the scope of the job calls for more than one area of expertise, or when one of the task goals is the melding of divergent opinions.32 Richard Gebhardt notes that the theoretical underpinnings of collaborative writing are \"the rhetorical sense of audience; the psychological power of peer influence; the transfer-of-learning principle by which (people) gain insights into their own writing as they comment on the works of others; 321 writing is communicating.\"33 Terry Bacon has found that collaborative writing socializes employees in several fundamental ways. It helps to acculturate newcomers by teaching writers about the corporation's capabilities and history and by modeling the corporation's values and attitudes in the actions of the experienced members. It also helps break down functional barriers, and it fosters the informal chains of communication and authority through which the corporation accomplishes its work.34 Finally and perhaps most importantly, collaboration can improve writing quality.35 People, without outside direction, can respond to each other's drafts with sharply focused and relevant comments.36 Recent developments in technology facilitate collaborative writing. As we explained in Chapter 3, communication technologies such as Google Docs allow groups to compose, revise, and edit documents synchronously and asynchronously, resulting in better messages. Aspects and Lotus Notes have been shown not only to result in better documents but also to avoid emotional conflict among collaborators. Disadvantages of Collaborative Writing Some disadvantages of collaborative writing are also those associated with group decision making. Some members do not do their fair share. Coordinating schedules for meetings can be complicated and vexing. Personality conflicts can all but stall the group's progress. And some peop