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Awkward Pointers. To save words, business writers will often point readers' attention backward with expressions like as mentioned above, the aforementioned, the former, the latter,

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Awkward Pointers. To save words, business writers will often point readers' attention backward with expressions like "as mentioned above," "the aforementioned," "the former," "the latter," and so on. Doing so is a distraction to the reader and is usually unnecessary. If a reference does need to be made, it is better to name or restate the specific thing to which you are referring. Revise the following: 30. Due to the former reason, you are banned from our office. Misassembled Sentences. A misassembled sentence is one in which an element is in the wrong place. The most common misplacement is at the beginning of the sentence, creating a "dangling modifier." Take this awkward example: "Walking to the office, a red sports car passed him." Moving the modifier is an easy solution here: "A red sports car passed him while he was walking to the office." Revise the following: 31. Working really hard, I created a new brochure. 32. Hoping to form a partnership, I offer you our sales partner contract to review. Nonparallel Sentences. Two or more similar (parallel) ideas should be presented in the same pattern, whether within sentences or between sentences. Lack of parallelism creates an awkward style. For example, the clauses in this sentence are not parallel: "Mr. Reynolds dictated the letter and next he signed it, and left the office." Compare that to this: "Mr. Reynolds dictated the letter, signed it, and left the office." Revise these sentences in order to present the ideas in parallel form. 33. Mr. Hill is expected to lecture three days a week, to counsel two days a week, and must write for publication in his spare time. 34. Both applicants had families, college degrees, and were in their thirties, with considerable accounting experience but few social connections. 35. Don is both a hard worker and he knows bookkeeping. 36. Revise the following short e-mail message so that they are more direct and concise; develop a subject line for the revised message. E-mail Message: Sorry it took us so long to get back to you. We were flooded with resumes. Anyway, your resume made the final 10, and after meeting three hours yesterday, we've decided we'd like to meet with you. What is your schedule like for next week? Can you come in for an interview on June 15 at 3:00 p.m.? Please get back to us by the end of this work week and let us know if you will be able to attend. As you can imagine, this is our busy season

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