1. How could the situation or conversation have been handled differently so that expectations and concerns were communicated clearly?

Case Study #2: Put yourself in the right frame of mind and show empathy As Chief Personnel Officer at Booz Allen Hamilton, Betty Thompson, is accustomed to having hard conversations. Recently, for instance, she had to tell a successful, longtime employee that his position was being eliminated.

"Over time, his role had become less relevant to the organization," she says. "There were also proximity issues his team was on one side of the country but he was on the other side. It just wasn't going to work anymore."

Betty decided that the message would be best delivered not in one conversation, but in a series of multiple discussions over a couple of months. "I didn't want to rush things," she says. "It was a process."

Before even broaching the subject with the employee, she reminded herself of her good intentions. "You need to have the right energy going into something like this. If you're coming from a place of frustrationwhich can happen, we're only human it will not be a constructive conversation. You have to think: 'What's the best way for this person to hear the message?'"

Her first step was sitting down with the employee to ask how he thought things were going. "I wanted to know what frustrations he was having," she says. "I wanted him to look in the mirror, not poke him in the eye."

After he spoke, she offered her own perspective on the problem. He was initially defensive, but by the second time they spoke, he had come around and agreed there was a problem.

By their final conversation, the employee had decided to leave the company. They had a great talk and even ended the conversation with a hug. "He knew that I cared," she says.