Journal 1:

The Shadows Grow Long

My reflection in the dusty mirror mocks me. Sunken eyes, hair, a tangled mess, and a smile that never reaches them. It has been like this for weeks, maybe months. Time blurs when you are underwater, and that is exactly how I feel - drowning in the murky depths of my own mind.

Sleep used to be a refuge, a soft escape from the day's anxieties. Now, it is a battleground. The nightmares come in vivid waves, crashing over me with the cold ferocity of the ocean. I wake with a gasp, heart hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird, drenched in sweat and the phantom chill of terror.

Days are a hazy parade of shadows. The world outside my window seems muted, the colors leeched out, replaced by a dull gray monotony. Every task feels like climbing a mountain. Getting out of bed is a victory, showering a Herculean feat. My appetite, once a bottomless pit, has shriveled to a pinprick. Food becomes a chore, each bite a forced landing in a desert of disinterest.

The whispers started subtly, insidious shadows flitting at the edges of my vision. Now, they're a constant hum, a chorus of doubt and despair echoing in the empty chambers of my mind. They tell me I'm worthless, a burden, a failure. They whisper that escape is the only answer, that oblivion is a preferable shore to the storm I'm caught in.

I isolate myself, a hermit in a self-made prison. Friends, once anchors in this choppy sea, become distant islands I fear to approach. Conversations feel like wading through quicksand, every word a desperate struggle. My family, bless their worried hearts, tiptoe around me, their concern a tangible weight in the air. But their love, their unwavering presence, is the only fragile thread I cling to in this swirling darkness.

What is this, this suffocating darkness that grips me? I don't know. Doctor's appointments blur into a meaningless routine of tests and vague pronouncements. Depression, maybe. Anxiety, they say. But the labels feel hollow, empty words that offer no solace.

I just want to feel the sun again, to breathe without the weight of this invisible storm on my chest. I want to see the colors return to the world, to laugh without the echo of fear in my throat. I want to be me again, the me I barely remember, the one who used to dance in the rain and find joy in the mundane.

But for now, I'm adrift in the shadows, clinging to the hope that dawn will break, that the tide will turn, and I'll find my way back to the shore.

Diagnosis (speculative): Major depressive disorder with possible anxiety and insomnia.

Journal Topic Heading: The Drowning

Journal Entry #2-The Mental /Physical effects - Continue the narrative about the individual in Journal #1. How does this problem affect this person's mood, feelings, emotions, body, health, and living style? Include the topic heading Mental and Physical Effects..