Value: 10%

Analyze the following poorly written invitation. List its weaknesses (at least 5) and outline a better writing strategy. Note, this does not mean you should rewrite the message - please just outline what organization you would use/change, and how you would fix it.

Dear Mr. Schulz:

Because you're a local Nanaimo author, we thought it might not be too much trouble for you to speak at our Canadian Association of Independent Management banquet May 5. Some of us business students here at Glenbow Valley College admired your bookBeyond Raceand Gender, which appeared last spring and became such a hit across the country. One of our instructors said you were now the country's management guru. What exactly did you mean when you said that Canada is the "Mulligan stew" of the Americas?

Because we have no funds for honoraria, we have to rely on local speakers. Dr. Lester Pierfont and Deputy Mayor Shirley Slye were speakers in the past. Our banquets usually begin at 6:30 with a social hour, followed by dinner at 7:30, and the speaker from 8:30 until 9:00 or 9:15. We can arrange transportation for you and your wife if you need it.

We realize that you must be very busy, but we hope you'll agree. Please let our adviser, Duncan Rankin, have the favour of an early response.

Assignment Details:

List at least 5 weaknesses in the above message.

Create an improved outline for this favour request. Note, you donot need to rewrite this message, just a bulleted outline is completely acceptable.

Assessment:

You will receive 1 mark for each weakness you find (up to 5 + 1 bonus).

You will receive 10 marks for your outline.