Write a summary on this article and give the answer and follow the given instructions:

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing smart thinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Anas! I’m Patricia O., and I look forward to working with you on your essay about Transformational Leadership. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength:
 I would like to commend you for using appropriate subheadings to separate the different sections of your paper. For instance, you use subheadings such as Encouraging Creativity and Being a Role Model. By using such subheadings, you are able to orient your readers regarding the content of the different sections of your paper. Well done!
 
 *Anas 9258916 has requested that you respond to the Main Idea/Thesis:  

Anas, your current draft does not have a proper thesis statement. Without this, your readers will be unable to preview the content and premise of your paper. As such, I highly encourage you to come up with a fitting thesis statement for your work. 

Your thesis statement should present a clear claim about transformational leadership to your readers. This claim should contain what you want to prove or emphasize about this type of leadership. Then, you might want to support this claim with points taken from the body of your paper. Including these elements in a single sentence should help you come up with a fitting thesis statement for your work. 

Now, what is your main idea for this paper? What claim do you want to present and prove regarding the transformational style of leadership? Then, what points from your work can you use to support your claim? Once you have the answers to these guide questions, you can use them as the basis of your thesis statement. You can then place your thesis at the end of your introduction to maximize its effectiveness.

Below is an example of a thesis statement for your reference:
 The authoritarian style of leadership is the best type of leadership for a business or corporation (claim) because it ensures that everyone follows the organizational structure, it puts an emphasis on productivity, and it encourages discipline in employees (supporting points). 

Now, based on the points and example given above, how can you come up with a fitting thesis statement for your work? 

Organization:

Moving on, some of the topic sentences in your work are not as effective as they should be because they do not always make use of specific details to preview the content of the paragraphs they lead. Here is an example of such a topic sentence from your work:

“A transformational leader is always proactive in the decision-making process.”
 
 

Here, you do not define the term pro-active, and you do not specify why a transformational leader focuses on being pro-active in the decision-making process. This compromises your topic sentence. Thus, I suggest that you include more specific details in your topic sentence to make it accurately portray the most important points of the paragraph it leads. Now, what does the term pro-active men? Then, why does a transformational leader have to be pro-active in the decision-making process? Consider these guide questions when you work on the topic sentence quoted above. Then, reread your work to ensure that your other topic sentences make use of specific details as well. 

 *Anas 9258916 has requested that you respond to the Introduction/Conclusion:  
 Finally, Anas, your current introduction lacks examples of leaders who use the transformational style to help their employees, communities, and the world in becoming better. Instead, your introduction focuses on defining the term transformational leadership. This lack of real-life examples can make your introduction less effective in grabbing the attention of your readers and preparing them for the points you want to discuss later on in your paper. Thus, I suggest that you include more background information and examples in your introduction. This should help you set the tone and purpose of your work, as well as ease your readers toward the main discussion of your paper. 

Consider these guide questions when you work on your introduction:

            - Who are some of the best examples of transformational leaders today?

            - What are these leaders known for?

- How have they influenced their respective employees, communities, and the rest of the world?

With these points and questions, you should be able to strengthen the introduction of your paper. You can also read more about this lesson with this article on Effective Introductions.