"YOU" messagescreate barriers to communication (provoke anger, hurt, embarrass, create feeling of worthlessness in

teens)

"I" messages share feelings and concerns (build trust and respect for feeling, allows us to accept responsibility for our own feelings, and allows us to focus on the actions not the person).

Turn the following "you" messages into "I" messages.

[ I feel }{how __ emotion} [why __________reason}

1. "I can't believe you. Where is the jacket I let you borrow?"

"I feel angry when you borrow my jacket and don't return it."

2. "You idiot, don't cut in front of me! Watch where you are going or don't drive at all!"

3. "When will you get it through your thick skull that when you are done with things, put them away where they go!"

4. "Hey stupid, next time I see your ski crossing my skis, I am going to crack your stupid head open! I don't want my skis to get scratched by someone as careless as you."

5. "How in the heck do you expect to graduate with grades like this?"

6. "Why bother, I can never count on you to be on time for anything?

7. "You just used me. One day you act like I am your best friend and the next day, you ignore me!"

8. "Get out of my way; can't you see that I am trying to get some work done?"

9. "You are so lazy, all you ever do is bum around and beg for money."

10. "You are always late for our dates. You have a watch, call me when you know how to use it."

11. "Stop tapping on your desk!"

12. "Listen to me; I am trying to help you!"

13. "You are so dumb, you can't do anything right!"