3. Identify specific listening skills that Chris’s mother uses once she chooses to listen mindfully.

When you’ve watched the video online, critique and analyze this encounter based on the principles you learned in this chapter. Then compare your work with the author’s suggested responses. Online, even more videos will let you continue the conversation with your instructor.
Christina is visiting her family for the holidays.
One evening after dinner, her mother comes into her room, where Christina is typing at her computer. Her mother sits down, and the following conversation takes place.
Mom: Am I disturbing you?
Chris: No, I’m just signing off on email.
Mom: Emailing someone?
Chris: Just a guy.
Mom: Someone you’ve been seeing at school?
Chris: Not exactly.
Mom: [Laughs] Well, either you are seeing him or you’re not, honey. Are you two dating?

Chris: Yeah, you could say we’re dating.
Mom: [Laughs] What’s he like?
Chris: He’s funny and smart and easy to talk to. We’re interested in the same things, and we share so many values. Brandon’s just super. I’ve never met anyone like him.
Mom: When do I get to meet him?
Chris: Well, not until I do. [Laughs] We met online, and we’re just starting to talk about getting together in person.
Mom: Online? And you act as if you know him!
Chris: I do know him, Mom. We’ve talked a lot—we’ve told each other lots of stuff.
Mom: How do you know what he’s told you is true? For all you know, he’s a 50-year-old mass murderer!
Chris: You’ve been watching too many movies on Lifetime, Mom. Brandon’s 23, he’s in college, and he comes from a family like ours.
Mom: How do you know that? He could be lying.
Chris: So? A guy I meet at school could lie, too.
Mom: Haven’t you read about all the weirdos that go to these online matching sites?
Chris: Mom, Brandon’s not a weirdo, and we didn’t meet in a matching site. We met in a chat room where people talk about politics.
Mom: Chris, you can’t be serious about someone you haven’t met.
Chris: I have met him, Mom, just not face to face.
I know him better than lots of guys I’ve dated for months.
Mom: This makes me really nervous, honey. Please don’t meet him by yourself.
Chris: Mom, you’re making me feel sorry I told you how we met. This is why I didn’t tell you about him before.
Nothing I say is going to change your mind about dating online.
Mom: [Pauses] You’re right. I’m not giving him—or you—
a chance. Let’s start over. Tell me what you like about him.
Chris: Well, he’s thoughtful.
Mom: Thoughtful? How so?
Chris: If I say something one day, he’ll come back to it a day or so later, and I can tell he’s thought about it, like he’s really interested in what I say.
Mom: So he really pays attention to what you say?
Chris: Exactly. So many guys I’ve dated don’t. They never return to things I’ve said. And when I come back to things he’s said with ideas I’ve thought about, he really listens.
Mom: Like he values what you think and say?
Chris: Exactly! That’s what’s so special about him.