For this exercise, you will work with two other people. You will each assume one of three roles: speaker, listener, and observer. You will rotate the roles, so that each person has an opportunity to participate in each one. The speaker should spend about two minutes telling the listener about an event or accomplishment that made him or her feel proud or happy while the third person observes. The listener should not interrupt at all in this one-way conversation.

After the speaker is finished, the listener should tell the speaker what he or she heard—not only the facts but also some generalizations about the person made on the basis of the facts. The observer should then tell both what he or she heard and observed.

For example, if Galen tells Karim about a time he trained daily for three months to ride his bicycle in a charity marathon, Karim might tell him in return not only the facts he heard about Galen’s training but also some assumptions about Galen: perhaps that he is motivated, is dedicated to meeting his goals, and cares about the nonprofit organization for which he was raising funds.

Now, switch roles and repeat the exercise.