2. Which recommendations in this chapter operate in the revisions of the following sentences (A versus B)?

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2. Which recommendations in this chapter operate in the revisions of the following sentences (A versus B)? Why do these principles result in clearer, more concise revisions?

A. A stroke is an increasingly common problem associated with the brain. It is caused when a vein or artery in the brain is obstructed. This results in loss of consciousness from the loss of oxygen in the brain.

B. A stroke, an obstruction in a vein or artery in the brain, results in loss of consciousness as the brain does not receive oxygen.

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Essentials Of Business Communication

ISBN: 9780176721244

9th Canadian Edition

Authors: Richard Almonte, Mary Guffey, Dana Loewy

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