Reply to this post

I was born in Haiti and lived with my father and siblings in a single parent household. My parents were not divorced but my mom had moved to the states to provide for our family. The relationships I had with my father was as good as it could've been with him having to constantly work. However as. I grew up I would think that our relationship became that of secure attachement. I was very much attached to him and would not leave his side because I thought he would leave like my mother did. This upbringing did not affect my relationships nowadays. As an adult, I believe we do not need to be defined by our upbrining. At a certain point in our lives, the emotional baggage will need to be put up and we need to bring positivity and love into our new relationships in order for they to succeed.

The results of my test were not surprising to me. It graded me a 53 on comfort with emotional intimacy. The results show that I can connect with others on an emotional level, but haven't fully opened up yet. It highlights the fact that building emotional closeness takes time, and even if you've been with someone for a while, the emotional connection may not be very deep. The relationships I've had in the past have definitlely reflect that statement. At times I feel close with partner in the relationship but it's not as deed as I would like it.

The main reason that I agree with being graded a 53 on emotional intimacy is the fact that I grew up in an rough environment. The culture in Haiti around the time I was growing up was driven by putting people in boxes and expecting them to behave in a certain manner all of the time. As the book highlights

in the US, " most parents encourage their infants to play with toys, exercise their motor skills, and nap alone." While in Haiti, the boys would nap alone while the girls were allowed to sleep in the bed with mom and dad. This would lead to feeling of separation between the boys and the parents. That could lead to insecure attachment as the video stated. In my case that did not last too long as I was brought in to spend night time with my dad and that led to a formation of secure attachment with him.