The following e-mail suffers from numerous writing faults such as dangling modifiers, overuse of the passive voice, and fragments -- all of which we covered in this chapter. Please REVISE this email to eliminate the issues that would make it a less professional email.

To: Tyler.Long@cox.org

From: Janice Rivera

Subject: Expanding Your Workouts at 24-Hour Gym

Cc:

Bcc:

Dear Mr. Long,

24-Hour Gym here in Seattle was probably selected by you because it is one of the top-rated gyms in the Northwest. Our principal goal has always been making your workouts productive. To continue to provide you with the best equipment and programs, your feedback is needed.

An outstanding program with quality equipment and excellent trainers has been provided by 24-Hour Gym. However, more individual attention could be given by us to our customers if our peak usage time could be extended. You have probably noticed that attendance at the gym increases from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. We wish it were possible to accommodate all our customers on their favorite equipment during those hours. Although we cant stretch an hour. We would like to make better use of the time between 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. If more members came later, the gym would have less crush from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.

To encourage you to stay later, security cameras for our parking area are being considered by my partner and me. Cameras for some inside facilities may also be added. This matter has been given considerable thought. Although 24-Hour Gym has never previously had an incident that endangered a member.

Please fill in the attached interactive questionnaire. Which will give us instant feedback about scheduling your workouts. By completing this questionnaire, your workouts and training sessions can be better planned so that you can enjoy exactly the equipment and trainers you prefer.

Cordially,