3.1 Think back to your family of origin and see if you can identify who may have played the roles of controller, blamer, pleaser, distractor, or ghost during times of stress or crisis. Identifying family members and their roles is not meant to blame them, but to discover patterns of behavior—theirs and yours. Write their name(s) beside the dysfunctional communication role.

Controller: ________________________________________________________ Blamer: ___________________________________________________________ Pleaser: ___________________________________________________________ Distractor: ________________________________________________________ Ghost: ____________________________________________________________ Did your family members fi t any of the dysfunctional communication roles? Did some play more than one role? What, if any, role(s) did you play within the family?

Do family members still play these roles?

One important discovery you can make is the role you played (or still play) in your family of origin. Because if you did, there’s a good chance you play a similar role when working in groups. A controller in the family will often try to control others in groups. Likewise, a pleaser in the family will often try to please others outside the family. Be aware of the roles you play when you communicate with others.